chAptER 03 - bAttLeFieLD

Don't try to explain your mind
I know what's happening here
One minute it's love
And suddenly it's like a battlefield

One word turns into a war
Why is it the smallest things that tear us down?
My world's nothing when you don't
I'm not here without a shield
Can't go back now

Both hands, tied behind my back with nothing
Oh no, these times when we climb so fast to fall again
Why we gotta fall for it now

I never meant to start a war
You know I never wanna hurt you
Don't even know what we're fighting for

Why does love always feel like a battlefield
A battlefield, a battlefield?
Why does love always feel like a battlefield
A battlefield, a battlefield?
Why does love always feel like

Can't swallow our pride
Neither of us wanna raise that flag
If we can't surrender then we both gonna lose
What we had, oh no

Both hands tied behind my back with nothing
Oh no, these times when we climb so fast to fall again
I don't wanna fall for it now

I never meant to start a war
You know I never wanna hurt you
Don't even know what we're fighting for

Why does love always feel like a battlefield
A battlefield, a battlefield?
Why does love always feel like a battlefield
A battlefield, a battlefield?

I guess you better go and get your armor
(Get your armor)
Get your armor
I guess you better go and get your armor
(Get your armor)
Get your armor
I guess you better go and get your

We could pretend that we are friends tonight
(Oh, oh, oh)
And in the morning we'll wake up and we'll be alright
'Cause baby, we don't have to fight
And I don't want this love to feel like

chapter 02

huh!

toae jiwa sgt kacau...

sori baba.. bukan niat mama nak wat baba mara or trase ht ngan ape yg mama nak post ni..

but its what i feel now..

on monday, 2.49 a.m..

im crying again...

well,

maybe sape yg tau sal aku tau knpe aku jwa kcau n mnangis...

yess! its about HER!

sesape yg mngenali driku, tau sape (HER) yg kuh mksodkan..

tlalu bnyak kngn mnyingkap...

satu per satu sudut...

n stiap inci..

stiap plosok tmpat yg aku pijak nie...

aku nmpak DIA..

ht aku msih ade DIA????

ntahh, aku sndri ta pasti..

cume ape yg aku nak dye tau..

aku de sbb nape aku TIPU dye..

sbb aku tau aku TAK AKAN dpt die...

aku relakan hati aku utk trima SESEORG dgn mudah...

sbb aku masih ade prasaan...

aku cuma tggu mase utk MELEPASKAN dri dr keadaan...

JAUH di sdut ht aku, aku SGT2 sygkan die...

tp skrg aku LEBIH cintakan org lain berbanding die..

i'll ADMIT that i love u DAYYA..

ba sgt sbr dgn ma...

ba sbr dgn perasaan ma yg mmikirkan org len mse dgn ba..

im THANKFULL coz i got u by my side...

but at the same time, as u noe,

its hard for me to forget her..

there is HER in every INCHES of my heart...

im so sorry baba..

but i do love u so much..

i CANT deny it...

n aku sgt2 pelik dgn perasaan aku..

aku cume nak dye jd KAWAN aku..

NOT MORE THAN THAT OK!

aku tak penah hrapkan ksih syg dye lg sbb...

aku DAPAT sume tu dr baba.,..

yes, yes, dlu mang die bnyak bg aku KEBAHAGIAAN..

tp bnyak juga KEPERITAN.,

tu mang aku tak dpt nafikan...

dye muncul dlm ingatan aku stiap kli aku BERSENDIRIAN dlm blik niyhh..

I HATE IT!!

ITS HURT!

PAINFULL!

hopefully 1 day i might FORGET her...

truly, my friend ask me to be STRONG..

i've try so HARD for it..

for being what they want...

but they're not in my position..

so they dont know...

what i feel...

aku msih ingat lagu2 yg penah mnjadi knangan aku dan die...

n aku amat MENYESALI smua tuh..

utk die : u, i sgt2 MENYALAHKAN diri i atas sume ini..

i CURANG dgn u..

i TIPU u..

tp u BUKAN brdiri di tmpat i..

I buat sume ni pon utk KBAIKAN u...

mgkin u ta nmpak..

u HANYA nmpak KBURUKAN i thadap u..

tp tnyata u silap...

i've my OWN reason WHY i did this ...

but its for sure that u NEVER wanna noe..

:(

i rmember this song.. u sang this song for me..

u sang it LOUDER WHEN IT COMES TO A WORD RELATED TO US ...

separuh jiwaku pergi

mmg indah semua 

tp berakhir luka

kau main hati 

dgn sedarmu

kau tggl aku

pernah ku mncintaimu tp tak bgini

kau khianati ht ini

kau curangi aku

pernah  ku mncintaimu 

tp tak bgini

kau khianati ht ini

kau curangi aku

kau bilang tak pernah bahagia

selama dgn aku

itu ucap bibirmu

kau dustakan smua 

yg kita bina

kau nhncurkan smua

pernah ku mncintaimu tp tak bgini

kau khianati ht ini

kau curangi aku

pernah  ku mncintaimu 

tp tak bgini

kau khianati ht ini

kau curangi aku

yes i do rmember this song so much...

i've did a WRONG2 thing to u..

i DO REALIZE it ..

BUT.......

theres only one thing i need from u...

i just wanna BEFRIEND with u..

THATS ALL I NEED..

even i hear a single word from u, its ok...

its enaugh...

just give me a lil bit FORGIVNESS ..

I APOLOGISE for what i did to u...

this is what i called  : i blame myself for losing u :(

this is sincerely comes from my heart..

sheera..

chApteR 01

hah!

todae mghbeskan mse drumah!

on9 sajeP! my syGs ta SEhat ):

ssedeh sgtss.. dye ta bape de mood. muntah2, skt pwot ):

but whateva it is, kuh syg dye,,

hehe... well, de owg mpErtikaiKAn pic KUH yang at atAs uh.. hehe.

satu DOA taoh if owG say amIN ble tgk piX uh.. hehe (:

keSEngALan smAsE hAnG oUT!

ptg tadik kuh g hang out ngan sengal pnye budak!

haha!!

bapak arhh sonok ktowunk begambo! p makan kat tesco td.. nmpak lak si OPIE.. hehehe... bole plak die keje at ctu..

i mean keje at f.court tesco uhh laaa... dye blanjer aku nan farah chocolate blended...

mkn pown FREE jgk!!

haa!!! ary2 aku ase nak p mam at TESCO!!

mY meMOry .. shE's GoNe.. ALreAdy GonE !

Remember all the things we wanted

Now all our memories they're haunted

We were always meant to say goodbye

Even with our fists held high

It never would've worked out right

We were never meant for do or die

I didn't want us to burn out

I didn't come here to hold you, now I can't stop

I want you to know that it doesn't matter

Where we take this road someone's gotta go

And I want you to know you couldn't have loved me better

But I want you to move on so I'm already gone

Looking at you makes it harder

But I know that you'll find another

That doesn't always make you want to cry

Started with a perfect kiss then we could feel the poison set in

Perfect couldn't keep this love alive

You know that I love you so, I love you enough to let you go

I'm already gone, already gone

You can't make it feel right when you know that it's wrong

I'm already gone, already gone

There's no moving on so I'm already gone

i miss her badly.. huh!

..ayien..

She's So Yummy Yummy Yummy

Ohh She's Sweet As Honey

Ohh I Gotta Get Some Na Na, Na Na

She's So Yummy And Delicious

Ohh With Tender Kisses

Ohh I Gotta Get Some Na Na, Na Na Out With The Old Girl 

Out With The Old Girl
In With The New
Tastes So Good, Lemme Get Me A Spoon
31 Flavors, I'm Pimpin' Withchu
And Girl I Got The Munchies, So I'm Stickin' Withchu

I Can't Wait, I Got A Date Manana
And My Girl Got A Platinum Na Na
She Smell Like Shaqel With Her Cucumber Melon
And Her Fashion Is Dipped In Prada Prada

I Got A Boss One On My Team
Every Playboy Mansions Dream
And She Thicker Than The Sticker On My Winter Go-Getter Cuz She Break Me Off That Candy Cream

She Got A Stack Full Of Cakes 
And A Million Dollar Waist
When She Slid Up On My Chrome
She Said It¢s True Ronny Ray
You As Cool As A Shade
I Said Ya What¢s Goin On
That¢s When The Na Na Got Weird
And We Started The Perc
Getting High As A Fire Escape
She Said I Heard From A Bird Bout The Way You Get Down
And Now Im Ready With A Video Tape

I Guess It Was My Destiny
To Hit That Juicy Recipe
Call A Man Who Did Ectasy
With A Whole Lotta Freaky Energy

sHopPiNG!!! :)

sMLm akU p sHopPinG laA...

p BeLi baJU..

kUa ngAN baBA ..

heHEheHE..

aKu hbIskan RM150 jePP...

AHhahHAHA!!!

ASe nYEw akUh boRos x??

xKAn?????

hahaAHAHAHA..

bLi bnDe kpErluAn..

lg POn saLE gLEw baBI koWt!!!

saNe sNI 70%!!!

mnE haKU ta RAMBANG mtE :)

stAgeS oF HoMoseKsuAL

 Peringkat homoseksual

Terdapat beberapa peringkat homoseksual:

• TERAHSIA

Juga dikenali sebagai CLOSET. Bermula sebagai ‘Homoseksual Sulit’.Individu homoseksual yang menjalani kehidupannya dengan BERPURE-PURE seperti orang lain, TIDAK BAHAGIA dan TERTEKAN oleh polisi sosial yang diterima oleh masyarakat. Individu homoseksual ini cuba menyesuaikan diri dengan norma-norma masyarakat dalam masa yang sama melakukan kegiatan homoseksual secara rahsia.

• PENDEDAHAN AWAL

Pernyertaan dan EKSPRESI diri kepada masyarakat. Individu ini memberi respon terhadap masyarakat heteroseksual dengan menonjolkan kehidupan homoseksual. Menerima hakikat bahawa diri lebih berminat kepada kaum sejenis.

• PERKONGSIAN

1. Tahap Perkongsian Pertama

Kemampuan untuk berkongsi perasaan sebagai homoseksual pada keluarga dan rakan-rakan.Mewujudkan perhubungan yang lebih stabil dan berjangka sederhana atau panjang

2. Tahap Perkongsian Kedua

Menilai secara terperinci akan kebaikan dan keburukan perkongsian secara terbuka. Bersedia untuk menerima sebarang akibat. Apabila diterima, ini akan membina percaya diri dan memberi kesan positif dan sekira sebaliknya. Ia akan memberi kesan yang negatif.

• KOMUNITI HOMOSEKSUAL

Kelompok homoseksual akan berkumpul sesama sendiri dan membentuk sebuah masyarakat yang mahu menerima mereka seadanya. Di sini mereka diterima, diperlakukan seadilnya dan berkongsi bersama-sama pengalaman dan memahami antara satu sama lain

Am i a LESBIAN??

"hi, I'm sure you get this question a lot. But I am totally confused right now. I'm 19, and attend college. I've always been in short relationships with men. I'm attracted to women, and they turn me on. But recently I met this lesbian in my college and we've been talking. When we chat I get turned on. I have done everything with a woman, besides making out drunk. Could I be a lesbian, or is this a normal/ new experience feeling?"

Hi... as u ll know, this is about LESBIAN. Sometimes, yeah for a while i think it kinda BIG MISTAKES for being like this. But what exactly the other choice i have? Nah, it's clear that i NEED a WOMEN by my side :)

I do try to get ALONG with a MAN (sometimes) but it's kinda UNfix me... All the things i've done all along, it's kind of BORED n UNpredictable.. HAHA! Im feeling like a STONE!

DAA!!!

A feeling towards WOMEN are so FANTASTIC.. It makes us feel like we're DIFFERENT from people outside.. Damn people that wanna HINDER us, just BACK OFF!!(pissed off too)

:))

Okay, having said that. How do you know if you are a lesbian or not? Consider the following:

Are your feelings for women stronger than your feelings for men?

Do you get more excited about the idea of kissing a man or kissing a woman?

Who do you see yourself settling down with in the future?

Are you more physically attracted to men's or women's bodies?

Who do you fantasize about more, men or women?

bErsaME peNgKid :)

haha!! for god sake, aku bkwn gux ngan penk.. they'll happening seyhh!!

ske giler member ngan dowunk..

fade up gax member ngan jantan neyhh... bese arh.. always want to take advantages of us, huh

i mean (kaum ppn)... :))

then what else? my soul is for THEM.. they fits my life :))

NO regRetsss maa.....

lessy??? ouhhh.. tu citer lame aku... well actualy mmg aku pnah ade hubungan ngan LESSY ..

Its kinda INTRESTING relationship..

both of us INTO it :))

but, sadly.. ta btahan lame....

..tHe eNd..

  PENGKID

> Berpakaian dan bergaya seperti lelaki (pakaian dan cara hidup)

> Tubuh badan dan rambut sama seperti lelaki

> Menjalin hubungan dengan wanita sehingga ada yang bercinta dan melakukan seks

> Membengkung payudara

> Suka wanita cantik

> Menganggap diri seperti lelaki yang boleh menjaga pasangan, terutama apabila diganggu


TOMBOY


> Perwatakan seperti lelaki

> Ada perasaan terhadap lelaki

> BUKAN lesbian (suka sesama jantina atau pengkid)

> Minat terhadap aktiviti lasak dan mencabar

> Ada sikap kasar dan ganas


LESBIAN

> Perwatakan sama seperti wanita sejati

> Homoseks (lesbian)

> Memiliki sikap cemburu

> Suka wanita cantik

..read this..

How does a woman flirt with another woman? 


That can be tricky, especially if you do not know the sexual orientation of the object of your flirt.

There's nothing like having someone flirt with you to boost your self-esteem. Whether or not you return the attraction, it feels good to know that someone finds you attractive. Flirting is an art. It's a two-way game. You have to be able to read your partner's interest and comfort in the flirtation in order to know how to proceed.

But, if done properly, there is nothing better or more exciting than letting the electricity grow between you two in the beginning stages of a relationship. Flirting can be subtle or overt.

Here's some tips for flirting:

 When you're out together, try to sit near her. Notice if she moves closer or farther away. When you're sitting on a couch and your thighs touch, what does she do? Does she let it stay or inch away?

 Look her in the eye when you are talking. Hold the stare for a little longer than you would a normal conversation.

 It may sound corny, but open a door for her to walk through.

 If you're sitting across from each other, gently put your hand on hers. Don't move it away unless she does.

Tell her she looks nice tonight. Compliment her hair or outfit.

Find out what makes her laugh. There's nothing like humor to cut the tension and loosen you both up.

Offer to get her a drink if you're at a party or bar together.

Touch her hand or shoulder when you hand her a drink.

Tell her you've been thinking about her.

 Call her just to say hi and see what's she's been doing.

 Send her a little note that says you enjoyed spending time together. An email is okay, hand written and dropped at her door or mailed is better.

Be careful not to over do it! You don't want to seem like a stalker. Look for signs that your flirtation is unwanted. Does she get off the phone quickly when you call? Do you send her long flowery e-mails, only to get one line answers in return? If so, back off and let her come to you.

Good luck and most of all, have fun!

....all about LESBIANISM.....

1. All Lesbians Hate Men

Fact: Just because lesbians are sexually and emotionally attracted to women, does not mean they hate or even dislike men. In fact, many lesbians love men.

2. Lesbians (especially butch lesbians) want to be men

Fact: Lesbians who's appearances are more androgynous or masculine do so because that is how they feel comfortable. The fact is, there is a diversity of gender expression among all women (and men) no matter what their sexual orientation. People who want to change their sex are called transsexual.

3. You Can't Know if You're a Lesbian Unless You Sleep with a Woman

Fact: Just as heterosexual people can know they are straight without ever having sex, lesbians too can know they are attracted to women without ever having to sleep with one. Coming out is a process and there is not "quick" way to figure out if you are indeed a lesbian or not.

More: Do I have to sleep with a woman to prove I'm a lesbian?

4. Lesbians are attracted to all women

Fact: Just because someone is a lesbian does not mean she's going to hit on you or be attracted to you.

5. Being a Lesbian is a choice and can be changed

Fact: More and more studies are discovering evidence that sexual orientation is not something that one chooses, rather it is an inborn trait, found not only in humans, but in most animals species. Contrary to what the religious right preaches, counseling to "make someone straight" just doesn't work.

More: What Causes Homosexuality?

6. Lesbian Relationships are all about sex

Fact: Sure lesbians have sex, but like heterosexual relationships, sex is not all there is to lesbian relationships. Lesbians connect with each other on an emotional and spiritual level and if they're lucky, have great sex too. Like straight people, lesbians create families and have children (or choose not to.)

7. Lesbians just haven't met the right man yet

Fact: Many lesbians haven't met the right woman yet, but meeting a man has nothing to do with it.

8. You Can Tell a Lesbian by how she looks

Fact: Lesbians and gay men claim to have something called "gaydar", which is really just an intuition about whether or not someone is gay. Gaydar isn't right all of the time and since many people still live in the closet, there's no way to tell for sure if someone is a lesbian. Unless she tells you, of course.

More: Gaydar

9. One Lesbian in a relationship has to be "the man"

Fact: Although some lesbian couples are butch/femme, both are clearly women. Neither wants to be a man nor acts like a man. And butch/femme is not the only type of lesbian relationship. Femmes and butches can be paired together, or more likely, both women don't claim any butch or femme label.

10. Lesbians and Gays Can't be Spiritual

Fact: Some religions may consider homosexuality a sin, but many churches, including many Christian churches, welcome and accept all people just the way god created them.

a little bit of pisces

aduhhhaii :)

BAHAGIA!!

BHAhaha :) kuh brsame ngan PENCINTA dirikuhh :)

sweet! ( seems like never want to lose her or release her )

so, i have to look after her :)

duhh, notink to say dude :))

im too HAPPY with myself :)

I AM MARRIED ! ! !

from now on, im officially married with DAYYA the PENK..

citernye pnjang.. dpendekkan, die propose aq mse hari burfdae aku..

wahh! i think im the lucky person :)

yes i am!!

sian die... menggigil2 die propose aq dat tyme !!!

neva let this thing lost in my memory :)

its my 1st time being proposed by SUMONE SPECIAL..

now da ta pelu pk g sal sengsare2 niyhh.. 

dah de owg yg leyy jge aku..

i do LOVE her doe!!! hahahaha

one thing 4 sure, aku akan LUPEKAN 'org' uh!!

xoxo to my beloved husband!! 

hehe :)

::: the end :::

FAmiLY soNGsaNGs..

this is my FAMILY.. it's called FAMILY SONGSANG!

haha! dat name kinda FUNNY aite?? but it's so COOL!

lemme intro u all of my family ....

It's me.. Nur Shaheera binti Nazaruddin.. u can call me sheera or maybe dea.. i am 19 years old.. haha,,

staying on top of this earth under a crystal sky :)

bah, wanna joking maa...

now i'm studying at UNISEL n i'm taking TESL course.. quite hard but its normal to live as a STUDENT..

i am LESBIAN!! oh no!!! hahaha.. but it's a real me,, n i don't even care what people say !!!

just accept me doh!!! im not a BITCH! :))

well, i'm kinda hard to fallin luv with a GUY! (OMG)

the first thing on my mind now is i MISS my DAYYA MUNCEYT..

she's my HEART <3>

!XOXO!

there's a lot of things that keep in myself.. just don't know how to publish it here..

HAHAHA..

BUT nvermind, let me express it to u!

WAIT N SEE..