never hurt again! ( is it true?)

sumtimes... i realy dont want to speak my mind.. cuz i really dun wanna tell u how i am digging u so n i cant let go.. but it hurts me to my soul.. hell yeah! really hurt.... ):
to tell u every little things on my mind, i just cant let u noe so i hide it inside.. all my feelings 4 u i cant let it go to ur head.. haha! kinda funny...  i am MEAN TO U SUMTIME..  but i cant get u off my mind lah!
cant u see it tru my eyes how much i wanna hold u syg?? give u all my luff.....
but..............
i've been there ( in hard situation ) n i've done dat.. n i tell myself not to get hurt again.. oh plz.. never again sheera,, never!
has love lost its meaning??? ( maybe.. ) am i meant not to feel it? duno lahh... is it me to blam huh????
gosh! damn it lah.... i really need to change for what she wanted! yess, i need to! n i noe... i dont wanna be in this pattern of life! its opposite my aim.. why i gotta mess it up? did i mess it up?? yeahh.. maybe.. bfore this...... hurmm. its like a CURSE  u noe...
oh god, why do i have to suffer for all this kind of things? i need to b strong cuz theres a deep love to her inside my heart... i've given her everything... still it aint happening.. in fact, im sick of it.. what does love want from me? its asking too much (inside my mind)
 AM I A SUCKER FOR A SUFFER FOR LOVE???
damn not! damn yess!
my dear love, listen what im goin to speech......
i wanna b happy n laughing just like the people that i see up arround me... so im gonna make the differences with all your giving chances... i keep on trying but i duno how it works for u.. des no instruction so im getting hurt.. over n over n over n over againn...